NO! Dont get me wrong! I am not afraid of marrying! Its rather the event of attending marriages that fills me with dread.
One of the things that I dont like doing is, to attend marriages...that too a relative's marriage whom I dont even know.
The hurdles that one has to face is just too much...I often feel placements are 1000 times easier!
The first and foremost hurdle starts at home. I have to dress properly, and that too if u r a girl the task becomes more difficult. You are not allowed to wear anything that is too "modern" or "inappropriate". The fact that guys have no such "dress code" would infuriate me even more, as my brother watched in glee as me and mom argue on the dress issue. Atlast due to time constraint, we would settle on something.
The second hurdle is after arriving at the marriage venue. Most of the people that I encounter are mostly strangers, right from the gate to the dining hall.
And if I dont meet some known cousins or friends, my fate would be doomed for that day!
To make matters worse my mom n dad would have abandoned me suddenly to meet people whom they know....
You may ask me why do I get abandoned by them? Actually it does'nt matter if u stick to them also, coz in the process for searching for your parents a few over-enthusiastic people will just ambush you and start asking questions and again you will end up being abandoned.
Most of these questions are very tricky (VTU questions seems lame when compared to them) and embarassing .
The 1'st question is like " do u recognise me ?" and if the answer is "no".....they would be a bit offended and the worst part is that they start explaining as to how I am related to them - "I am ur father's mother's elder uncle's son's blah blah..." and they go on till they think that they have done justice to the relationship.
And "what r u doing?", If I say B.E, "When's the placements, which all companies come, how many come, which I am planning to write, what's the package they r offering blah blah... " again they go on and on and on.
AND the worst part is through out my meeting of these stranger-relatives... the questions would be repeated and I would have to repeat the same answers with patience again and again and... again.
If you encounter some oldies...thats it! Problem becomes more complicated. You would have to practically shout the answers and wait patiently till they comprehended what ever you just said. And once that also happens...listen to their advice that girls should not work, that it's an extra strain on them, they should instead concentrate on cooking and family and blah blah blah....! OH MY GOD!SAVE MEEE!!!!
The thing that I cant understand is these people dont even know me properly...ask me all sort of personal questions and if u offend them by not giving straight answers or in some way during the answering session,the gossip fire starts....the girl is too gutsy , doesnt respect elders blah blah,,,,,,,!!!!
Ok fine....I control my irritation and temper and say to myself " forget these people...how about concentrating on marriage ceremony?? "
AGAIN,I wont be able to get any decent places to sit...in case I get also...the photographers make sure that nobody would be able to see the Bride and Bridegroom. I feel so sorry for those two people on the stage...they have to endure the intruding photographers, their cousins and friends teasing them from behind mercilessly, the priest asking them to do and say all sort of strange things, the choking smoke from the sacred fire place and they still have to be seated in a dignified manner, not talking too much, not smiling too much...should be serious and yet look their best...all at the same time.....!!!!!! God bless those poor souls!
Ok forget them also...after combating the stranger-relatives...and after finding my lost parents, I would proceed to the dining hall. There after finding a place..just when you start thinking that all hurdles have been crossed and that you can finally relax and enjoy the food...the photoghraphers make their entry !
They make sure they zoom in on each persons face and capture their munching action.GOD!!!!!!
If you wait for them to go away by just sitting idle...you have already lost the battle. They wont go away and instead you would find yourself making a fool of yourself staring into the cameralens! OK, after the photographers, when u think its all finally over, it is relatives again. If they are sitting next to you or opposite to you, thats it !! YOU ARE FINISHED !! Even your eating won't be in peace. The questionnaires follow again........!!!
I sometimes wonder why did'nt these people join the police or some investigating agency??? They would have atleast been appreciated for their questioning energy and talent.
Thank goodness these days marriages are one day affair, the maximum being 2 . I just cant imagine my fate if it had been for 5 days as in olden days...!
I confess that I have made an attempt to overcome this relatives-phobia and I cant admit that I have fully overcome it. Each time I come up with a strategy, they just beat me at it! Even if u have good PR skills, against relatives its just useless!!!
The ONLY good part in this circus is me observing other people going through the same ordeal and those bakras would be my only source of entertaintment in this mad mad mad Indian weddings :) :) !
